Bloody Paint

Over Christmas I have had the misfortune of having to decorate, it would of been better to work !

Anyway, I dispatch myself to the DIY store to purchase some paint, oh dear, what I thought would be an easy task turned into a nightmare, which one !!!, I don't mean colour, I mean, which type of paint, should I purchase a non-drip type, anti-yellowing (what ever that is!), one that hides cracks, one that doesn't smell, one that only needs one coat (guaranteed apparently), one that goes on pink and then turns white, one that is washable.

No thanks, I don't want to choose, I want the one that is washable, doesn't drip, stays white, hides the cracks, doesn't stink the house out for days, will cover everything in one coat and changes colour, unfortunately, the man in the DIY store just laughed at me, surely that's an idea though.